The Most Important Relationship...

There is only one relationship that stands above all others. This relationship is more important than the one that you have with anyone else, more important than money, health, or time because all of those other things are a reflection of this one relationship. That is the relationship that you have with yourself.

Forgiveness and self-acceptance are paramount when cultivating a loving relationship with yourself because they are the foundations of what we call self-love. The term self-love can be overused in our society today but not many people are talking about what self-love is. To love oneself is sort of the "given" in terms of having a relationship with yourself. I mean, if a car was coming at you going 90 miles an hour, you're going to move out of the way. That is a basic example of self-love.

What about the deeper concepts of forgiveness and self-acceptance? How the hell do you start to forgive yourself for things that you might have done in the past? You can start this process with something that I like to call "beneficial thinking." Find the benefits of whatever it is that you think you did wrong. Maybe you sabotaged a relationship, gained a large amount of weight or made a bad financial decision. The last thing you need is for someone to beat up on you about it and oftentimes that person is us. 

Finding the benefits is closer to the truth of the situation because it is in the natural direction and flow of truth. Truth is just what we see as reality. To think in opposition of reality is to experience emotions like guilt, regret or hatred. Not seeing that you make the right decisions, with the information that you have in this moment is a denial of self-acceptant and forgiveness. We are all surviving in the best way that we know how because that is the ego's job. 

Anything other than finding the purpose and benefit of your decisions is madness. You will go down a slippery slope into something called catastrophizing. In the psyche world, this means that your thoughts spiral down like an endless chain of defeat and depression. The way out of this kind of thinking is to start looking for what went right with your situation. What are the benefit of gaining extra weight, sabotaging that relationship or making that horrific financial decision? Therein lies your freedom. You are the master of your reality and perception is the key that opens the door to freedom.

Self-acceptance and forgiveness are an inside job that that might take some contemplation and detective work but if you look hard enough, every situation has a silver lining Take the time to give yourself the gift of freedom by being like a blood hound that seeks out the truth in every situation. The only thing you've got to lose are the chains that are holding you back from achieving your dreams and finding that the truth truly does set you free. 

"Need" is a Useless Human Concept

What is "need." 

If you sit quietly in meditation and really contemplate what the idea of need is, you will begin to see that it is a made up human concept that keeps us trapped in a bottomless pit of unfulfilled desire. Without the concept of needing anything, we have everything right here, right now.

When your mind begins to grasp the new idea of provision and all needs being met already, a new power of awareness begins to take hold of the emotions and the body begins to respond by letting go of stress.

Stress is the cause of energy blockages. Those energy blocks can include health, money, relationships, friendships, or emotional freedom. All of our energy is flowing whether we tell it to or not. If we are experiencing the somatic responses of a need, then we are experiencing stress.

I always like to define energy in two different forms, contractive and expansive. These terms can be defined many ways; fear or love, stress or relaxation, etc. When you realize that energy always takes the path of least resistance, you can see why the need for something causes energy to be squeezed off.

Think about something that you need in this moment. Your mind might be saying that you need more money, more health, more freedom, a relationship, a healthy family member, whatever it may be, it causes your body to physiologically respond with tightness. This is the opposite of our natural and intrinsic state of flow. We are designed to function optimally when we are relaxed and in homeostasis. 

Need is the idea that we will be secure if we have something. That is an illusion. We don't need anything if you get down to the basic truth of universal law. There is no need. Need is a human construct designed by the ego to try and stay safe. If you look at nature, which is always our first teacher, a plant will die without water. Did it have a need to live? The answer is no. We might think so because of what we have believed is right and wrong.

All things live and die in perfect timing. We don't need anything or anyone and that is absolute freedom from all bondage. This is the basis of the Buddhist religion and how we can find freedom. It doesn't mean that you stop eating or working because you've given up the need, you find peace within as you continue to feed your body and go to your job everyday. 

These needs of race consciousness sound like believable and enticing ideas that hold us back from finding our true connection to Source. 

I need more money. 
I need to be happy.
I need to be healthy.
I need to find love.
I need to find my life's purpose.
I need to be accepted.
I need to meet other's needs.
I need to be safe.

These concepts are all traps that keep you focused on lack and limitation. Investigate where the need comes from and then use the "What If" concept found in Energy Balance, and ask, "What if I don't need _________________?"

Then find three solid examples of evidence that the "What If" statement is more factual. Think of three benefits that can prove why you don't have a need.  

Letting go of need is the first step in letting in all abundance. If you want to truly see change in your internal world, seek freedom from need, and then go deeper and ask if you need to be free of need. It's a journey back to the self over and over again. 

When Inspiration Strikes

Have you ever wondered if you are taking the right path in life? 

I've heard people say things like, "I'm so miserable at my job and I'm not sure if I should leave or not," or they complain about their spouse and yet can't make a decision of whether they should leave or stay, and they live in torment. I've also heard that indecision is the worst of all human conditions. That is very profound if you consider the large spectrum of human emotions. 

If you think about it though, not being able to decide is pretty awful. If you haven't lined up with your decision to do something, it's like walking on wobbly legs. You have no stability or conviction at all. This is like building your life on quicksand. 

Taking action before you feel inspired is always a decision based on fear. If I don't do __________, then I might not get what I need in the end. That is no way to live life. Coming into complete alignment with your decisions is the key. When you feel inspired, and your body is ready to make a move, make sure that your mind is in tune with your decisions as well. 

According to evolutionary psychology, we have the need to pursue survival. We use mental reasoning based on past situations to protect ourselves from future danger. Oftentimes those threats of danger are an illusion, and that is what keeps most of us stuck in a recursive pattern. Our lives don't change much over the course of our lives. This is the reason most of us don't take the action we need to when we feel inspired. We reason it out with possible outcomes and let our lower mind do the decision making for us. What would our lives really look like if we just took action when we felt inspired with no questions asked? We just lined up with it and BOOM, let the pieces fall where they may.

Living from fear and doubt is familiar for so many people. They question whether they should send that email, write that book or post that video on YOUTUBE. In the end, who really gives a shit anyway? Whether you do it or not, it doesn't really matter. BUT-what if something amazing came out of all of it? 

Today I challenge you to take one tiny action toward a dream. Come into complete conviction about your decision and just do it. Be reckless about the outcome. If you are inspired, then trust that guidance. If you are ready for change in your life, then take a small believable step and watch the Universe support you. The key here is to make sure that you feel good about it. That is your gut telling you that you are on the right path. 

In the end, will you remember all of the safe decisions you made or will you applaud the decisions that challenged you to be a better person? Make that call, send that text, sing that song and dance that dance. Make today the day that you become your inspired self! 

Intuition Always Has Your Back

Do you second guess yourself when making decisions? 

I hear people say things like, "Do it scared," or "The time is now, take action," and while all of this is great, there is something more powerful for you to do before you act. 

Since we are all made of energy, or what I like to call consciousness, then if we want to move that energy, we must first do it consciously. That means that we must first come into complete alignment with whatever it is that we wish to create in our lives. This might sound like a complete joke since we live in a world made of matter, but that matter is energy first. Matter is moved by the consciousness of the mind and emotions.

All of us have had the experience where we have had to make a tough decision. Sometimes it feels effortless and sometimes it feels like a struggle. There is a surefire way to ensure that you are making the best decision for yourself. If it feels like a struggle, it's not time; plain and simple. When energy is ready to move, it just happens. Did you think about getting out of bed this morning? Probably not. When it was time, your feet hit the floor and you started your day. Sure the reasoning mind probably spent some time arguing whether you had enough sleep yet, or if you could maybe get in another snooze before leaving the sheets, but in the end you just got out of bed. 

Your higher-mind is making decisions for you that will take you where you need to go. When you are hungry, you eat. The food is provided when it needs to be. When you have to use the bathroom, you go and take care of business, no questions asked. The same thing happens in life, yet we let our lower-mind or the reasoning mind second guess what we already know from deep within. Intuition is the higher-mind that knows best. 

The way to get into alignment with whatever you wish to create is to find some sort of relief in it. If you can imagine that your desire is a calm sea where it is already done in the invisible, then it will make itself visible. You have to find a way to feel peace with it. There is a sweet spot when you think about the most believable step that you need to take next. Sometimes that sweet spot is actually doing nothing at all. Sometimes that feels best. 

If you are truly paying attention to the way that you feel emotionally, then the higher-mind will take over and do life for you instead of constantly trying to struggle and second guess the process. There is nothing to be done in this moment than to feel peace. The Universe is wise enough to get you there in the most elegant way possible. When the energetic charge is gone from your desire and you have surrendered, then the doorway opens and you walk right through, with grace, in the most perfect way.

Intuition is telling you how to get there by presenting the next easiest step. Remember, the Universe unfolds with ease. The path of least resistance is the one that you want to take. Money flows easily just like water. Love blows effortlessly just like the wind. All things are a reflection of the Divine nature of creation. 

Look for your sweet spot and stay there. Your desire should feel as natural as the shoes on your feet or the hair on your head. Use the power of intuition to take you into the promised land where milk and honey flow. 

Taking Action is Secondary

Oftentimes when we want to manifest something, we want to take action. Action is the easiest thing to do since we think we have control over the end result. The only problem with taking action before you are feeling inspired to do so is that there is always some sort of negative reprecussion that has to be dealt with on the back end. This just creates more problems. The reason there is a negative backlash is because the action is usually taken out of fear, impatience or desperation. This is NOT the time to act.

Let's say that you need more money and you are feeling stressed out about paying your rent. The first thing you do is start to panic. Then you have the idea that you will sell some jewelry or pawn your tv to  get some money quickly but it feels awful. You really don't want to get rid of your jewelry or you tv. This is not the time to act. This will only bring more things to worry about and to fix later on. 

Take the time to really imagine what it feels like to have the money already. Sit in a quiet place and ask yourself, "What does it feel like when I have "X" amount of dollars already in my bank account." Now, let that feeling resonate in your body and emotions for awhile. You may feel an immense amount of relief. Do this exercise as many times as you need to until you start to memorize the feeling and can take yourself there anytime you have a panicking thought about money.

Finally, realize that things take time. Our work is to get there emotionally. When you feel like you are the person who is in the perfect relationship, has the perfect body, or has plenty of money in the bank, then the signs of your belief will start to show up in your experience. That is the key. 

If you are not feeling worthy of whatever it is you are asking for, some action may be necessary to achieve it, if your beliefs are in the way. For example, you want to manifest a more fit body. Most people cannot conceive that thinking will actually mold your muscles and your waistline (I've actually witnessed it, and it does) so if this belief is standing in your way, then get to the gym and change your diet. The way that you feel after you eat healthy or after you workout is the key, the action is secondary. Many people experience a euphoria when they are done working out and they just feel more fit. The feeling is the key. The amount of work you think you need to do to achieve that feeling is what will make you believe it mentally and then of course energy will follow thought. 

Take your feelings further by asking yourself throughout the day, "How would I feel if...?" This feeling that comes over your body and emotions is the key to creation. It opens the doorway to see past current reality and to form possibility in the quantum field where all things exist. When you ask the question, the answer comes in the form of an emotion and that emotion forms the reality that you want to live. 

Why Do We Attract the Opposite of What We Want?

Why do we attract the opposite of what we really want?

This is a popular subject for people who are interested in the Law of Attraction and there is a simple explanation!

Whenever we want to understand the spiritual world we must first establish an understanding of the physical world. (as above, so below)

So let's get started...

First, we must investigate magnetism. Magnetism is created when the poles, positive or negative, are attracted to or repelled from one other. Seems simple enough right? Then why is it that we create a magnet for what we want and we get just the opposite? It is because the contractive nature of our desire keeps us away from what we want, usually because we want it too badly.

This might seem counterintuitive but if we really take a minute to think about it, then we can see how this is true. When energy is tight and contractive it creates a magnetic pole within us that is tight. The muscles contract, the need is very high. This is when the science of magnetism comes into play because in scientific terms, a positive pole will attract a negative pole-its opposite. So when you desire something so fiercely that it becomes contractive energy, then it attracts the opposite result.

Well then, how do we get what we want??? This is the billion dollar question and it's as simple as the first idea. If we again look to nature or science for the answer, we will find it there.

Think about how a sponge works. It is absorbent. It is loose. It is expansive. It has room for more.

I think I just saw the lightbulb go on in your head! This is the key to manifesting what you want. We are always attracting in the Universe, that is law. Whether we are a magnetic pole or a sponge is up to us. We must learn to let go of the need and think of the joy we will have when the manifestation shows up! The muscles become relaxed, the blood flows easily and the breath becomes deep and expansive. This is the place of flow and relaxation, the true nature of receiving.

If you want to attract something into your life with precision, you must learn to let it go. This is the concept I like to call "reverse universe". It's the dichotomy that the Universe is a mirror, the opposite reflection of what we think we see or know.

In summation, relax, breathe and let go! This is the answer that you have been looking for and it will open you up to the magic of the Universe. Have fun, play and think of the feeling that you will have when you get there. That is the key to getting what you want!

Rewire Your Brain to Stop Dwelling on the Past

Do you sit and dwell on your past? Your thoughts might bring guilt like, "I shouldn't have said that to my husband." or "Why did I do that to my wife?" This type of thinking is called rumination and it can lead to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, binge-drinking and binge-eating. 

Thinking about the past and feeling guilty is one of the worst feelings in the world. Sadly enough, psychology shows that women have a tendency to do this more than men, which makes it very difficult for women to get over their pasts. These feelings of guilt and shame are responsible for reactivating the same kinds of feelings and emotions in the body that make us repeat the same behaviors and actions.

If you tend to catastrophize with your thinking, you probably find yourself blowing things way out of proportion. You might experience the situation over and over in your mind and think that it is way more serious than it really is. Perhaps you said something to a friend or sent a risky text message and now the world is caving in on you. This is common for many people and it has some pretty serious consequences because it causes stress and fear of loss. 

If there were a cure for this kind of thinking, would you take it? Oftentimes, people run to the doctor or the psychiatrist and try to fix it with a pill. There is something about this generation that wants it to all be better right now and even though pills play a major part in the mental health of some people, the majority of us are just dealing with thoughts and emotions that are common to everyone. Aside from being properly diagnosed with a mental disorder, these thoughts and feelings can be taken care of with two really simple techniques that we can all do every day.


The first of these simple techniques is just 30 minutes of exercise. I mean, really, how hard is it to set thirty minutes of your day aside to get in some heavy breathing and sweat? (you made that way dirtier than it had to be) If you study the habits and behaviors of the most successful people, they always do the hardest things on their agenda first thing in the morning. Working out first thing in the morning is a great challenge to try for yourself! 

The reason that this works is, making decisions is like working a muscle all day long. We have a certain amount of brain energy everyday that is set aside for making decisions and once we use that all up, we start faltering on our self-control and self-discipline. That's why some people just binge eat at night, because all of their will power for the day has been used up. Pretty crazy right?

If you have a hard time finding the motivation to work out, get up an hour early and put on a work out video from YouTube or find a great song on your playlist and do some dancing. As long as you are getting your heart rate up and getting the blood flowing. You don't have to be pushing tires down the street in front of your cross fit gym to qualify it as exercise. (yeah, we all know that one person)

Exercise helps with weight loss, sure, but it also has other amazing benefits. One of those special benefits is it helps to produce more neurons in your brain! It helps to keep brain cells from dying and it also helps to keep those neurons vital and healthy so that you can maximize your memory power. Studies are still being done that may show that exercise is also beneficial in avoiding dementia and other brain related diseases. So go for it, put on your tennis shoes and break a sweat, your brain will thank you for it. 

The second simple and easy technique is 30 minutes of meditation following your 30 minutes of cardio. Together this power-duo has been proven to help the brain to forget the past and to stop rumination. Who knew!? The secret to meditation is to keep coming back to your breath-that means to pay attention to your breathing; the rise and fall of your diaphragm. 

This simple and easy practice that you can do anywhere actually has many health and brain benefits, way too many to put in this article. The research of Tracey Shows, Phd from the Center for Collaborative Neuroscience at Rutgers University, has shown that meditation helps with stress, mental focus, breathing, and now it can it help you get over that ex you can't quit thinking about!

These two simple and effective techniques are available to you for free and they will change your life. Like I asked before, "If you had the cure for guilt over your past, would you take it?" Now you do. Living in the past is a thing of the past, and living in the now is the new trend this season!


The Incredible Balance of Life

Every person has a strength. What is your strength? Do you even know how to look for it? No matter who you are, there is a quality within you that balances out the qualities that are not as prominent. 

Let me explain it this way...there are 4 main categories of strengths that make us attractive and successful. These strengths are what help us in life to attain our dreams, goals and desires. I am not talking about a degree or something that you have to work hard at, this quality is intrinsic. In this case, intrinsic means that this quality comes easily. You are able to create this aspect of yourself in the world easily. 

The four areas of strength that people possess is:
1. Personality (humor, charm)
2. Resources (wealth, connections)
3. Physical Attractiveness (beautiful, handsome)
4. Intellect (talented, scholarly)

The amazing thing about us is we innately know which one of the qualities we naturally excel at and if we are weak in the other areas, the one with highest ability to succeed always takes over the other ones. 

We are all like seeds that come with all the potential and ability that we need to accomplish our life's purpose. When the things that we set out to do in life demand something of us, we use the natural resources that we have in these four areas to succeed. 

Every single person is balanced in their own way. That is why every person is amazing. It might not be the same package as the person next to them, but they are amazing in their own way. If you are feeling bad about yourself, then you are putting too much attention on the quality that you are not excelling at. 

When we get sad, depressed, or feeling less valuable than others, then we are not focusing on the quality that we do best. Let's say you don't feel physically attractive (which is okay, we're not all models) and it's really making you feel ugly and worthless, shift your focus onto what you do love about yourself.

If you are super smart and maybe a bit awkward socially, that is okay! If you meet someone who is not super smart, but they have a wonderful sense of humor or are physically incredible, then it opens up a deeper level of acceptance for them, knowing that we adapt and evolve to survive and thrive in the world.

Find the thing in life that you know you're amazing at and put your focus into that. Don't waste your time trying to become something that you know you never will be. I know that I will never be a model, but I do think that I have a fairly strong intellect. So I choose to focus my attention on learning and not at the gym breaking my back trying to become an Adonis. 

Knowing your strengths can give you a new perspective on how you view your life and how you value yourself. So many people walk around hoping and wishing that they were something that they aren't. This is a waste of valuable energy and can cause you to lose focus. 

Now that you know more about what your strengths are, I can ask you again, do you know what your strengths are? How would you rate yourself? Maybe 80% in one area, 10% in the other and 5% in the last 2 areas. Take a moment to realize that we are all balanced in life and when you find yourself not valuing your strengths, shift the awareness to your strong points and take your power back!

What is Cognitive Dissonance and How is it Blocking Your Manifestation?

It sounds like a fancy psychology word, and that's because it is! The meaning behind this really simple concept is: when you go against your personal convictions you create internal stress. If your belief is that drinking alcohol is bad, and you do it anyway, you are creating cognitive dissonance. If you eat chocolate chip cookies and you think that they are bad for you, you create cognitive dissonance. 

It's like violating your own code of ethics. This is really just about coming into alignment with what your higher self knows is best for you. 

The brain is really clever because if you are doing something that is bad for you, like having an affair, and you refuse to stop it, the brain will justify the action so that you can live with yourself. The only problem is, there is a deeper part of you that still knows it is wrong. The things that start to manifest in your life will reflect this lack of inner peace. You are out of alignment with your higher self and your life will suffer.  It will affect your finances, your health and your wellbeing. 

So what is the cure for cognitive dissonance? Stop the sabotaging behavior. It sounds easy, but sometimes it can be the hardest thing in the world to do. Ask any smoker and they will tell you that they may think about quitting everyday but cannot find the inner strength to do it. These sabotaging behaviors are what make us feel bad about ourselves and make us feel unworthy of the great things that we desire. There is a block in your spiritual, physical and psychological energy. Once you quit the behavior, you will lift the block and things in your life will start to improve. 

If your intuition is telling you to do something or to stop a sabotaging behavior, take action now! Think of the things that you want to manifest and know that the prize is better than hanging onto old habits and behaviors. How bad do you want it? Now is the time, your best life is right around the corner!