Why Do We Attract the Opposite of What We Want?

Why do we attract the opposite of what we really want?

This is a popular subject for people who are interested in the Law of Attraction and there is a simple explanation!

Whenever we want to understand the spiritual world we must first establish an understanding of the physical world. (as above, so below)

So let's get started...

First, we must investigate magnetism. Magnetism is created when the poles, positive or negative, are attracted to or repelled from one other. Seems simple enough right? Then why is it that we create a magnet for what we want and we get just the opposite? It is because the contractive nature of our desire keeps us away from what we want, usually because we want it too badly.

This might seem counterintuitive but if we really take a minute to think about it, then we can see how this is true. When energy is tight and contractive it creates a magnetic pole within us that is tight. The muscles contract, the need is very high. This is when the science of magnetism comes into play because in scientific terms, a positive pole will attract a negative pole-its opposite. So when you desire something so fiercely that it becomes contractive energy, then it attracts the opposite result.

Well then, how do we get what we want??? This is the billion dollar question and it's as simple as the first idea. If we again look to nature or science for the answer, we will find it there.

Think about how a sponge works. It is absorbent. It is loose. It is expansive. It has room for more.

I think I just saw the lightbulb go on in your head! This is the key to manifesting what you want. We are always attracting in the Universe, that is law. Whether we are a magnetic pole or a sponge is up to us. We must learn to let go of the need and think of the joy we will have when the manifestation shows up! The muscles become relaxed, the blood flows easily and the breath becomes deep and expansive. This is the place of flow and relaxation, the true nature of receiving.

If you want to attract something into your life with precision, you must learn to let it go. This is the concept I like to call "reverse universe". It's the dichotomy that the Universe is a mirror, the opposite reflection of what we think we see or know.

In summation, relax, breathe and let go! This is the answer that you have been looking for and it will open you up to the magic of the Universe. Have fun, play and think of the feeling that you will have when you get there. That is the key to getting what you want!

Rewire Your Brain to Stop Dwelling on the Past

Do you sit and dwell on your past? Your thoughts might bring guilt like, "I shouldn't have said that to my husband." or "Why did I do that to my wife?" This type of thinking is called rumination and it can lead to depression, anxiety, post-traumatic stress disorder, binge-drinking and binge-eating. 

Thinking about the past and feeling guilty is one of the worst feelings in the world. Sadly enough, psychology shows that women have a tendency to do this more than men, which makes it very difficult for women to get over their pasts. These feelings of guilt and shame are responsible for reactivating the same kinds of feelings and emotions in the body that make us repeat the same behaviors and actions.

If you tend to catastrophize with your thinking, you probably find yourself blowing things way out of proportion. You might experience the situation over and over in your mind and think that it is way more serious than it really is. Perhaps you said something to a friend or sent a risky text message and now the world is caving in on you. This is common for many people and it has some pretty serious consequences because it causes stress and fear of loss. 

If there were a cure for this kind of thinking, would you take it? Oftentimes, people run to the doctor or the psychiatrist and try to fix it with a pill. There is something about this generation that wants it to all be better right now and even though pills play a major part in the mental health of some people, the majority of us are just dealing with thoughts and emotions that are common to everyone. Aside from being properly diagnosed with a mental disorder, these thoughts and feelings can be taken care of with two really simple techniques that we can all do every day.


The first of these simple techniques is just 30 minutes of exercise. I mean, really, how hard is it to set thirty minutes of your day aside to get in some heavy breathing and sweat? (you made that way dirtier than it had to be) If you study the habits and behaviors of the most successful people, they always do the hardest things on their agenda first thing in the morning. Working out first thing in the morning is a great challenge to try for yourself! 

The reason that this works is, making decisions is like working a muscle all day long. We have a certain amount of brain energy everyday that is set aside for making decisions and once we use that all up, we start faltering on our self-control and self-discipline. That's why some people just binge eat at night, because all of their will power for the day has been used up. Pretty crazy right?

If you have a hard time finding the motivation to work out, get up an hour early and put on a work out video from YouTube or find a great song on your playlist and do some dancing. As long as you are getting your heart rate up and getting the blood flowing. You don't have to be pushing tires down the street in front of your cross fit gym to qualify it as exercise. (yeah, we all know that one person)

Exercise helps with weight loss, sure, but it also has other amazing benefits. One of those special benefits is it helps to produce more neurons in your brain! It helps to keep brain cells from dying and it also helps to keep those neurons vital and healthy so that you can maximize your memory power. Studies are still being done that may show that exercise is also beneficial in avoiding dementia and other brain related diseases. So go for it, put on your tennis shoes and break a sweat, your brain will thank you for it. 

The second simple and easy technique is 30 minutes of meditation following your 30 minutes of cardio. Together this power-duo has been proven to help the brain to forget the past and to stop rumination. Who knew!? The secret to meditation is to keep coming back to your breath-that means to pay attention to your breathing; the rise and fall of your diaphragm. 

This simple and easy practice that you can do anywhere actually has many health and brain benefits, way too many to put in this article. The research of Tracey Shows, Phd from the Center for Collaborative Neuroscience at Rutgers University, has shown that meditation helps with stress, mental focus, breathing, and now it can it help you get over that ex you can't quit thinking about!

These two simple and effective techniques are available to you for free and they will change your life. Like I asked before, "If you had the cure for guilt over your past, would you take it?" Now you do. Living in the past is a thing of the past, and living in the now is the new trend this season!


The Incredible Balance of Life

Every person has a strength. What is your strength? Do you even know how to look for it? No matter who you are, there is a quality within you that balances out the qualities that are not as prominent. 

Let me explain it this way...there are 4 main categories of strengths that make us attractive and successful. These strengths are what help us in life to attain our dreams, goals and desires. I am not talking about a degree or something that you have to work hard at, this quality is intrinsic. In this case, intrinsic means that this quality comes easily. You are able to create this aspect of yourself in the world easily. 

The four areas of strength that people possess is:
1. Personality (humor, charm)
2. Resources (wealth, connections)
3. Physical Attractiveness (beautiful, handsome)
4. Intellect (talented, scholarly)

The amazing thing about us is we innately know which one of the qualities we naturally excel at and if we are weak in the other areas, the one with highest ability to succeed always takes over the other ones. 

We are all like seeds that come with all the potential and ability that we need to accomplish our life's purpose. When the things that we set out to do in life demand something of us, we use the natural resources that we have in these four areas to succeed. 

Every single person is balanced in their own way. That is why every person is amazing. It might not be the same package as the person next to them, but they are amazing in their own way. If you are feeling bad about yourself, then you are putting too much attention on the quality that you are not excelling at. 

When we get sad, depressed, or feeling less valuable than others, then we are not focusing on the quality that we do best. Let's say you don't feel physically attractive (which is okay, we're not all models) and it's really making you feel ugly and worthless, shift your focus onto what you do love about yourself.

If you are super smart and maybe a bit awkward socially, that is okay! If you meet someone who is not super smart, but they have a wonderful sense of humor or are physically incredible, then it opens up a deeper level of acceptance for them, knowing that we adapt and evolve to survive and thrive in the world.

Find the thing in life that you know you're amazing at and put your focus into that. Don't waste your time trying to become something that you know you never will be. I know that I will never be a model, but I do think that I have a fairly strong intellect. So I choose to focus my attention on learning and not at the gym breaking my back trying to become an Adonis. 

Knowing your strengths can give you a new perspective on how you view your life and how you value yourself. So many people walk around hoping and wishing that they were something that they aren't. This is a waste of valuable energy and can cause you to lose focus. 

Now that you know more about what your strengths are, I can ask you again, do you know what your strengths are? How would you rate yourself? Maybe 80% in one area, 10% in the other and 5% in the last 2 areas. Take a moment to realize that we are all balanced in life and when you find yourself not valuing your strengths, shift the awareness to your strong points and take your power back!

What is Cognitive Dissonance and How is it Blocking Your Manifestation?

It sounds like a fancy psychology word, and that's because it is! The meaning behind this really simple concept is: when you go against your personal convictions you create internal stress. If your belief is that drinking alcohol is bad, and you do it anyway, you are creating cognitive dissonance. If you eat chocolate chip cookies and you think that they are bad for you, you create cognitive dissonance. 

It's like violating your own code of ethics. This is really just about coming into alignment with what your higher self knows is best for you. 

The brain is really clever because if you are doing something that is bad for you, like having an affair, and you refuse to stop it, the brain will justify the action so that you can live with yourself. The only problem is, there is a deeper part of you that still knows it is wrong. The things that start to manifest in your life will reflect this lack of inner peace. You are out of alignment with your higher self and your life will suffer.  It will affect your finances, your health and your wellbeing. 

So what is the cure for cognitive dissonance? Stop the sabotaging behavior. It sounds easy, but sometimes it can be the hardest thing in the world to do. Ask any smoker and they will tell you that they may think about quitting everyday but cannot find the inner strength to do it. These sabotaging behaviors are what make us feel bad about ourselves and make us feel unworthy of the great things that we desire. There is a block in your spiritual, physical and psychological energy. Once you quit the behavior, you will lift the block and things in your life will start to improve. 

If your intuition is telling you to do something or to stop a sabotaging behavior, take action now! Think of the things that you want to manifest and know that the prize is better than hanging onto old habits and behaviors. How bad do you want it? Now is the time, your best life is right around the corner!