You are not alone.
As Loveaholics, Love Addicts, Codependents and HOpeless Romantics, we all experience fear, depression and loneliness...
Together, we can learn to love.
Are You a Loveaholic?
The term "love addict" is a reference to people who might be seen as a "hopeless romantic". We are strong and sensitive people who love hard, and are loyal to a fault. Loving is not something we learn in school, it's something we learn with experience.
CAN YOU ADMIT TO YOUR ADDICTION???
This questionnaire is an excerpt from chapter one of LOVEAHOLIC, which is available once you sign up for the newsletter on this site. If you think you are unsure about being a Loveaholic OR the whole concept brings up resistance, take this questionnaire!
If you are feeling resistant to the concepts in this website, that IS a good thing! This means that you are supposed to be here. Think of it this way...isn't it always the alcoholic who is the first one to defend and justify their drinking, and the last one to admit they are an addict?
This is the ego trying to defend what feels safe. This is why the first step to recovery is admitting there is a problem - we can only heal what we can see.
Here are the 20 questions that you can use as a "self diagnosis" to see if you are indeed a Loveholic, AND if you find that you are, WELCOME TO THE CLUB!!!!! I am so glad that you are here.
TAKE THE LOVE/RELATIONSHIP ADDICT QUESTIONNAIRE
Can you answer yes to 3 or more of these questions? If so, our love life may be a hot mess, but it's not broken!
1. Do you come from a home where your parents did not seem to have a clue when it came to raising children and they did not meet your emotional needs? YES NO
2. Do you feel the need to help people who seem needy and to become their emotional caregiver? YES NO
3. Do you hope with all your might that the emotionally unavailable person you are dating/married to will someday become your knight in shining armor/princess who longs to be rescued from the wicked queen and fall madly, deeply in love with you and fulfill all your fantasies about love? YES NO
4. Do you bend over backwards for your partner and would do anything to keep your relationship from dissolving? YES NO
5. Do you spend all your resources (money, time, emotions) on your partner to help them out or to keep the relationship going? YES NO
6. Are you waiting around for your love to realize you are “The One”? YES NO
7. Do you take the blame just to keep things cool even when you know the other person is misbehaving? YES NO
8. Do you think you need to change or fix yourself so that you can earn the right to be loved or live a happy life? YES NO
9. Do you unconsciously try to control your partner and/or relationships with the hope that they might see how valuable you are and want to be with you forever and ever? YES NO
10. Are you in major denial about the reality of your romantic relationship and are possibly in love with an idea, rather than what is really happening? YES NO
11. Do you find yourself turning to things like shopping, drinking, eating, or any other addictive behaviors to hope and “numb out”? YES NO
12. Do you forget to take care of yourself because you are too busy meeting the needs of your partner? YES NO
13. Are you depressed but you know that finding someone will cure all that loneliness and boredom in a jiffy? YES NO
14. Do you like the bad boys/girls because nice boys/girls are boring? YES NO
15. Do you think about love/relationships/your partner more than 50% in any given day? YES NO
16. Do you find yourself trying to please your partner so they don't get angry or distance themselves emotionally? YES NO
17. Do you get discouraged easily when dating seems to get challenging and you think that finding love is an impossible feat? YES NO
18. Have you ever gone “all out” for someone to find that they just weren't that into it from the beginning? YES NO
19. Do you get a “high” from being around your partner or love interests? YES NO
20. Do you change your life or behaviors so that you can make your relationship work? YES NO